Thursday, October 30, 2008

Spider Dump

I witnessed something crazy the other day. A big fat juicy spider taking what appeared to be a juicy spider dump. I believe it was some sort of orbweaver. Crazy though I had been watching at the exact moment it decided to take a crap. 
"Do spiders crap?" My boyfriend asked.
"They gotta get rid of waste like everyone else, don't they?" I replied.
If anyone wants to know what a spider taking a crap looks like, the spider wriggles and strains really hard, and then a few drops of clear goo fall out. 

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Disorder of the Colony Collapse

Einstein did NOT say this:
"If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live."
A creepy story, it would be. A true story, it is not.
What is true though is that worker bees have been magically disappearing at an alarming rate since 2006 and scientists are still not entirely sure what is happening to them. They are agreeing to disagree. Some say it's just a natural cycle of bee mites or bee disease. Others say it's Global Warming. And other theories include use of cell phones and genetically altered crops. It all depends on the bandwagon you jump on. 
If you don't agree with altering crop genetics, then make sure you claim that's why the bees are dying off. If you think Global Warming is surely fucking with colony order, then say so. No science is needed. Just your opinion.
The point I'm trying to make here is, scientists need to stop bickering on why they're right and instead do some hardcore research to prove it. Or maybe everything is causing the bees to disappear and everyone's right. 
Can't all scientists just get along?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Completely Random Blog in Which I Discuss a Website and Kicking Dogs

Have you ever had a dream that somewhat correlated with what was happening to you in your real environment? This has happened to me a few times and it always involved my pets. I'll explain.
One morning, while I was sleeping in and my sister was getting ready for school, I had a terrible horrible almost real dream about a terrible horrible almost real gremlin with these big yellow eyes staring at me intensely. I woke myself up to keep me safe...only to see a pair of big yellow intense eyes staring at me! It was my sister's insane cat, Gray. She always looked at you like that when she was ready to attack. I screamed at the top of my lungs and instinctively threw my comforter at her. How in the world did my brain know she was staring at me? Or was it just a coincidence I was dreaming about something staring at me?
Case 2. Early this morning, I was dreaming about standing in the ocean knee deep and discussing with these fellas about how deep you can go before a shark attack is likely (Shoulder deep in dream logic).  Suddenly as I stood in the water, about to wake up because I don't like sharks, something brushed across my foot. I kicked like I had never kicked in my life! My dog, Oscar, began to wail. 
"Crap Oscar!" I said half asleep, "I told you I don't want you in the bed!" It was all his fault of course. Poor wiener dog, he's already got neck/spine problems enough as it is, then I go and kick him in the face! I would have much rather preferred kicking my other dog, Sophie,  who is young and hardy.
And you know how they say dogs forgive you? Well, that wasn't the case with Oscar. He didn't want to be anywhere near me in the bed. He would not lay down unless there was a barrier (my boyfriend, John) between us. He wouldn't even look at me! Can you blame him? He was just laying there minding his own business when his ear happened to lightly graze my foot then BAM! Out of left field came my foot...hard.
And that in a nutshell is the danger of having your small doggies sleep in the bed with you. 

Haagen-Dazs wants you to save the bees! And with this cute little interactive site, how could you not? Save the bees! But that's another blog.
Till next time!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Poor Chimp is a bit humorous though.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Anxiety Disorder and Evolution

When my body seems like it's not helping me, I start to think why that is. Aren't our bodies (in
an evolutionary sense) supposed to keep us alive so that we are able to be fruitful and multiply? The day after I went into aniphilactic shock after taking an antibiotic called Levaquin, I felt betrayed. Why do our bodies react in this way? If I was a caveman and had no access to an epi-pen, I would be a goner! And well, that's when it hit me. In Darwin's eyes, I was not a fit person. But then again, cavemen didn't have access to Levaquin either!
"What's the evolutionary advantage of being allergic to something?" I asked my biology teacher.
"Well," she considered, "it's the body's way of telling you never to go near that allergen again."
I still wasn't satisfied. My caveman self would be dead and not get another chance to go near that allergen again.
I researched a little and stumbled upon a quote I liked:

"The important thing to note here is that... just because a feature has evolved does not necessarily mean it has a purpose." -Ethan Benatan

It still irks me a little bit though. Ever since I first learned about evolution, I think of everything biological in an evolutionary sense. It's a hard habit that I can't shake. However, I do believe another lucky gene I have received from my bloodline did have an evolutionary advantage.
I was a born strange. Everyday I thought I was dying. I thought the people at the Cheez-It factory poisoned my beloved snack. I never wanted my parents to go to a gas station because I was positive that's where murderers hung out. I was always sensitive to any environment I was in. It wasn't until I was 8 when doctors finally put a name to it. They told my parents I had Anxiety and Panic Disorder. It actually left me in peace for a while but then reared it's ugly head when I was in high school. Again, I felt like damaged goods. Not a fit specimen so to speak. But to make myself feel better, I came up with this theory.
Anxiety and Panic disorder would have been a good thing to have, if it did exist in caveman days. Someone who was hyper aware of their environment had a better chance of not becoming a meal than the person who let their guard down for a split second. They then lived to pass on those lovely genes to me.
But it leaves me with questions. Did some of our way ancient ancestors have any kind of mental illness? How did mental illness come about? Are we the only animals that can get this disease? What would be an evolutionary advantage to, say, schizophrenia?
These are tough questions that I think even the smartest scientists would have a hard time answering. 
About that schizophrenia thing here.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


Parrots are smart, that we know. But is hard to believe that they have a sense of humor? Not for the people who live in the mountains of New Zealand. While I "researched" for this blog, I came across this funny little story:
"One winter, a group of Kea at a Craigieburn Range ski hut came up with a new prank. A small gang of birds waited on the snow-covered roof over the doorway. They were alerted by a nearby sentry each time an unsuspecting occupant was about to exit the hut, and with precision timing would kick snow onto the person's head, cackling raucously. By the following winter, the trick had spread to Arthur's Pass, 30 kilometers away."

Ah, the Kea. In some ways, it looks more like a falcon with its blah coloring and longer, thinner beak. And well, it can eat like a falcon too. Kea are omnivores. They eat fruits and daisies, insects and carrion. When Europeans began to settle in New Zealand, they introduced sheep into the environment. During the harsh mountain winters, farmers would claim that they saw Kea attack the sheep's back and tear out its fat around the kidneys. This was doubted by scientists until 1993 when they captured video of a Kea attacking a perfectly healthy sheep. But for the most part, the Kea sticks to smaller animals and has taken a liking to any human food they can get. Stolen or handed to them. Their relationship with people is mixed. Visitors love to interact with these curious birds only to find that they are a little more curious than they'd like. Kea have a habit of tearing off the rubber parts of cars and pulling out the wiring of ski lifts. Not to mention those pranks they like to pull! Keep your backpacks zipped closed because these guys will pull out anything they like and fly away with it. 
FAVE FOOD: churros
HOME: Southern New Zealand
HOBBIES: talking smack about humans, organizing shiny objects by size
LIFESTYLE: dabbles in polygamy

Being evil little buggers:

Oh, but they're so cute: